There are lots of things that I used to know to be true that now-- now I do not know. I do not, for instance, know that there is God. And, even if there is a God, I do not know that He can hear my prayers. And, even if there is a God and even if He can hear my prayers, I do not know that He cares. I do not know how a God could be omnibenevolent and dream up the notion of damnation. I do not know how a heaven free from sin and independent thought would not turn us into love puppets. Like I said, there are lots of things that I do not know.
What is really bothering me, I think, is that I haven't been asking these questions all along. The Church has raised me as a Christian who knows all kinds of nifty phrases like "resurrection of the body and the life everlasting," "saved by grace through faith," and "Light of the world." But this is such a hollow way to do things, and I can't stand it anymore. I need some meat on these bones-- some substance for all their flowery language. The protocol on which we stand means absolutely nothing other than the fact that we are a part of a community. But what does that community stand for?
Do we stand for justice? What is just about putting new stained-glass windows across the street from the poorest housing development in the city? Do we stand for mercy? How can we allow the political party which has hijacked us support corporate punishment? Perhaps we stand for love-- only let's not love those who love differently than we do...
This has no real point, other than the fact that I have never been more un-certain of religion. Not religion, maybe-- the church. And I am delighted with it, simply because it hasn't damaged my faith. If anything, I think I own my faith more now than ever before. You can't tell me what to do.
What is really bothering me, I think, is that I haven't been asking these questions all along. The Church has raised me as a Christian who knows all kinds of nifty phrases like "resurrection of the body and the life everlasting," "saved by grace through faith," and "Light of the world." But this is such a hollow way to do things, and I can't stand it anymore. I need some meat on these bones-- some substance for all their flowery language. The protocol on which we stand means absolutely nothing other than the fact that we are a part of a community. But what does that community stand for?
Do we stand for justice? What is just about putting new stained-glass windows across the street from the poorest housing development in the city? Do we stand for mercy? How can we allow the political party which has hijacked us support corporate punishment? Perhaps we stand for love-- only let's not love those who love differently than we do...
This has no real point, other than the fact that I have never been more un-certain of religion. Not religion, maybe-- the church. And I am delighted with it, simply because it hasn't damaged my faith. If anything, I think I own my faith more now than ever before. You can't tell me what to do.
