the shakedown (no breakdowns)

So here's what's up, sugar puppy.

Fair Trade Sales went FAR better than I could have hoped for, considering this whole "Service Project Facilitator/SALT Liaison" position sort of fell into my lap out of nowhere. Thanks to everyone who volunteered, ordered something, or listened to me stress. I'm starting work on the Guatemalan Gifts Project. I've also been talking to PJ a lot, because I'm itching to start something new. The projects we have now are great, but the binder full of stuff we have always done doesn't leave me much room for creativity. I want to stir some new excitement, maybe involve some different groups of people. My dream would be to gain/strengthen a sister congregation like St. Paul Synod does with Tanzania. That would be a huge project, but I know it would be just as awesome (if not more so) at Augie as it has been at St. James. We'll see!

I have an archaeologist test tonight WOO! Yes, it's dorky and awful, but I am unbelievably and inexplicably excited about that class and excited to (get ready) show off what I've learned! Man. On another nerd note, Kyle Rodgers let me rip open an X Box controller and helped me open a broken DVD player. (So far) I've only shocked myself twice and just a little slice on my finger. And I've got two sweet little motors and lots of buttons and switches and we haven't even pulled anything cool out of the DVD player yet. We're going to build a helicopter. Probably a small one.

I miss you, home friends. I'm ready for Thanksgiving break to be right now. Except I'm enjoying myself immensly, so not RIGHT now, I guess.

My mom and dad and Eric came to visit this weekend. We went to the apple orchard (which was just as much fun as last time we went like ten years ago) and played at the hotel and ate lots of good restaurant food (Granite City Brunch= best. buffet. ever.) and had a very nice time.

I've been having good discussions lately. God (or the possible absence of), politics, love (the new analogy is lions and antelopes), and everything in between. I'm still writing, too, which is only worth noting because I've actually been sticking with the same thing for the most part, and I think (knock on wood) I may finally FINISH something. I know, I can't believe it either.

Football game on Saturday is in Vermillion-- definitely going. Take it easy, guys :)

a glad version

"bad hair day night"


out to dinner


a game


onesie


omaha

My new obsession is a band called "The Glad Version." They're from the cities, and their lead singer Adam was at the Fringe Fest.

In other news, I've got the autumnal cough/cold that I get every year. Didn't make it to the homecoming game, but I don't feel to bad since we stood in the freezing rain in Omaha. Apparently it was a good game, though I do feel much better after sleeping all day and watching Finding Nemo twice through.

I've realized I'm in a rut, but I've also realized that it's okay since I've realized it. Does that make sense? I'm working on it, no worries.

The girls on my floor are great. They're wild and friendly and loud and creative and great. It's going to be a good year.

I got footie pajamas at Target. They glow in the dark, and I plan on buying at least three more pairs.

I've got three tests next week, but I'm only really concerned about government. I LOVE archaeology. I've been thinking maybe I'll end up in Australia to study anthropology instead of Ireland for government/religion. We'll see.

We're going to the Firehouse tonight, there's a dance, too. Tomorrow we're going to Vikings Varieties. Happy Homecoming!

piddly

Wow, it has been quite a while since I've written in this little chunk of cyberspace. Partly because I've been busy, but mostly because I've been back to writing in the real-world. Something about typing makes me think I'm doing it for an audience (as if anyone even reads this), which automatically turns on the vocabulary-grammar-spelling machine in my college-conditioned head. So I finally went back to my old notebook and a cheap ballpoint pen. That's the way it should be, really. Without anything terribly fantastic to say, I think it would be a bit conceited for me to write about piddly things that fill my day. I'm not in a different country, I'm not at a new school, I don't work for the devil who wears Prada. This isn't supposed to be melodramatic, just honest and apologetic for the few people who I know check up on me now and then...but I TALK to you guys every week at least. I was in Chicago two weekends ago. Maybe going to Omaha this weekend. I'm staying at school for Fall and Easter breaks. At least. More later maybe, take it easy kids.

thanks, ze

the show with zefrank

duh?

Daniel Pearl, the deputy editor of Newsnight (BBC) has something to say to bloggers. Apparently people are surprised/creeped out by the fact that their blogs are being read, and responded to. Hello? Isn't the self-centered point of making a blog in the first place: so that people read it? So that people from entirely random and different lifestyles/locations/ideologies can get their two cents out there and-- o my!-- engage? This is, to me, the same line of reasoning that people who are fired when they defame their company on their blog and get all whacked out of shape try to use. It's the internet, guys. The point is open information. I suppose what's surprising (and rightly so, I must admit) is the fact that, with all the millions of blogs out there, you would happen to stumble across something that would be relevant to you, or that someone would randomly stumble across your little staked-out-space in the Wide Web.

In other doldrums, Tyler and I went and saw The Great Gatsby at the new Guthrie. After wandering around inside that crazy building, I still need a little more time to digest the actual show. It just seems very fitting that that should be the first production. I hope people realize that what our ol' homebody Fitzgerald was trying to pound across is still pertinent.

ugly

"Ugly when compared with preexisting notions of taste is a bummer. But ugly as a representation of mass experimentation and learning is pretty damn cool."

finally

I wonder if there are people whose lives are actually like Sex in the City. Spending their days working out and shopping and writing newspaper columns, and spending their nights drinking brightly-colored cocktails with their girlfriends, then making love with men who are somehow independently wealthy and apparently dime-a-dozen. Every week there's a new man in your bed, but it's ok, because you'll laugh about it over lunch at some trendy cafe the next afternoon. Then it's back to the fabulous club openings, where you never have to worry about what to wear because your closet is like an obscenely-fashionable-Mary Poppins' carpet bag, and you will undoubtedly meet a new stud or two or seven.

I suppose the reality of city life is that while it might be glamorous and elite for, well, for the elite, it just seems as if it would be kind of lonely. Unless you moved there with someone you knew, or had a built-in scene to belong to, like a good job or a school or a church-- how do you find a place? I would love to live in the city someday, but how do you keep from being a nobody? I guess that's the problem everywhere, though. How do you keep from (oh this is awful) becoming bourgeois? I finally found a way to tie in my title apparently. I should have called it anti-bourgeois, or resisting bourgeois, but I guess I couldn't resist the alliteration.

Back in the real world, I'm going to Michigan with Tyler and his family for the fourth and next week. Should be a great time! Then on the 10th I start teaching lessons at Lifetime. Gah! My first lesson went pretty well, considering that the kids were crazy. A good test, I suppose!

TWO PIRATES PREMIERE

This is what Eric and I did for two nights in a row (there are more, but they take too long to load):

two two two

It is so hopeful to me that there are people who are both fiscally successful and socially responsible. AND that there are some in Minnesota, AND that they are vocal and active. Today's Minneapolis Star Tribune had a full-page ad on the back of the world section from a group called "Growth and Justice."

Some rich Minnesotans want to pay more taxes

Raising $2 Bn by charging 2% more on the highest-earning 2% of Minnesotans-- with a lower increase on the middle-class, and virtually nothing on incomes under $45,000-- sounds OK to me. I guess I'm not in the highest 2%, but that's two cents on each dollar. I think I might be in the LOWEST-earning 2% of Minnesotans, and I would STILL be willing to pay two cents on each dollar that I make, if I could be assured that it would go towards education, or health care for children, or sustainable transportation options. The problem is: once the government gets ahold of the money, it's like a black hole. The accountability isn't there-- and why should it be, if citizens don't demand it?

photos courtesy of lauren

tuesday afternoon nothing

So my first in-the-water-training was yesterday...TEN hours in the pool. Six shadowing at Savage, and six hardcore training at St. Louis Park. It was FUN! (No sarcasm here, I really enjoyed it!) I think that once I get over the fear of trying to deal with monsters, or of accidentally drowning someone, I am going to LOVE working at Foss. Plus I discovered my new dream shampoo. It's the first swim shampoo I've ever used that actually A) smells good, and B) works! They have it in their on-deck showers, so I'll be able to use it all I want! It smells like blueberry candy, and has a koala bear on the front of the bottle. That's all I'll say.

pennies from...

I got three shiny 2006 pennies at Savers today. It made me wonder: How much is one penny worth? Which led me to this...

The Seattle Times: "Does Keeping the Penny Still make Sense?"

fourth of june

Was at Gull this week, saying goodbye. It is weird, weird, weird to be gone. Hopefully I'll make it back once more before they close on the house at the end of the month. It was a grand farewell, anyway-- perfect weather, and all the usual critters were out and about, and the water was fantastic. Got to visit PK, too, which was sweet as usual.

I had my first training for swimming lessons yesterday. I think it's going to be great! The guy who's in charge seems really cool, and it will probably be a lot of fun. I'm only a little nervous, about controlling crazy kids...but shouldn't be anything I haven't handled before!

Going to Savers today-- finally! And I got the fishtank taken care of. The room is coming together...just found out, though, that Judy and Doug and Chris-- and maybe Morganne, Michelle, Madison, and Mark, are ALL staying HERE next week. I'm so glad that they're all coming to visit, but shouldn't they be staying at Jeanne and Chas's ENORMOUS house? Or at least D and T's relatively large house? It will be an adventure squeezing everybody in, to say the least! Really excited to see all of them, though!

memorial day

Tyler, Whing, Jo, Me, Bets, and Chris

How many days did it take me to get over my mopey withdrawl? The same number it took for my friends to realize that I was home. I still miss school a LOT LOT LOT, but my friends here make me thankful.

Sarah and Ashley promptly kidnapped me and took me out for pie. We had so much fun just eating pie and talking and laughing-- good memories and stories about our (very!) different college experiences.

Then! The TIM(e) group (and Chris!) got together at Perkins and my house. Some people had to leave early, and some couldn't come until later, but we DID get to have a girly sleepover FINALLY! (We missed Bekah though!!) And I guess it was kind of ok getting to see all the guys, too... I am SO VERY THANKFUL for ALL of them. Some things change...but some things don't ever change! We've already got a couple camping weekends picked out for the rest of the summer. Hopefully we'll be able to get out to Sibley to see Frankie at camp, too.

Whitney is in Sweden! And Jourdan is in Montana! I'm really happy that two of my best friends get to be off having adventures...but I sure will miss you girls!

Meanwhile, back in the real world, I am completely gutting out my room...and I got bunkbeds! It has been loads of not-so-fun work, but it feels really really good to get rid of things that just aren't important. I realized that I have way way too much stuff. And I'm making room for the things that are actually important! Needless to say, I'm not even CLOSE to being done...

I saw X3 with Matt Clay and Mike on Friday. I haven't seen the first two, but this one kind of made me want to watch all of them! It was pretty good, if you like action movies and special effects and stuff. Definitely not a tear-jerker, or terribly deep or anything, but very entertaining anyway!

I am lonely here! It has been so good to spend time with my family, and absolutely AWESOME to see my dear friends, but now it's kind of just like...meh. I miss being with people all the time! Ellie time is nice, but I always make Ellie time regardless. I want to play HALO all night, or eat lunch with people, or chill in the lobby for an hour and talk to everyone who walks by! I want Berg 1 and 4W back! I want my friends! Hmph.

I'm going up to Gull tomorrow, probably the last time I will be at the house. Ever. I know that I'm going to cry, so I'll come back to this later...

Oh, and it's Memorial day. I wish we did things that we do on Memorial day every day.

the twilight bark...

...i LOVE this movie!

there are no words

You can't explain some things to people who have never experienced them. No, it's not just like high school. No, it's not just like camp. No, it's not just like mission trips or Girls' State or theater or basketball.

I'm not sure what I'm going to say yet. I've been thinking. In a good way.

No worries.

please?

Can I just stay here all summer? Please? And everybody stay with me?

For months, I've been consciously enjoying the company that I keep, and the things we do. Every so often, reminding myself that before I knew it, summer would be here. And I've been having a blast. Absolutely one of the best times of my life. I have no regrets. No "I wish I would have slowed down," or "I wish I would have appreciated it more." I've soaked up every single second, every stupid joke, every random late-night occurence. Of that, at least, I am sure. I took not one second for granted.

But I am still going to bawl when it's time for us to leave.

recapitulation

my mixed-media self-portrait from art
(crayon, watercolors, and mirror)

I was randomly reminded of my New Year's Resolutions today.

1)write
2)swim
3)patience

How am I doing? WELL...

1) I haven't been writing, exactly, but I have been being quite creative anyway. I paint a lot now-- I've always loved watercolors, and art class has given me an excuse to do it as often as I want. And my guitar has been a great outlet too. I only know a handful of chords, but I've been writing music now and then. So hey! I have been writing, I guess! (I should really get on that, though...)

2) I did swim straight through J-term, and sporadically afterwards...I'm feeling great healthwise. I did a vegetarian stint during January, too-- and recently for about a month. Next year, I think I'm going to start going every day at the beginning of the year, and keep it up for as long as I can. Maybe every other day or something. I'm planning on teaching swimming lessons this summer. So hey! I'm doing ok with that, too!

3) The patience. I'm doing ok. There's a fine line that I think I've been toeing... being patient is different than being passive. I want to work on this one. I don't want to be chasing things, but I certainly don't want anything worth pursuing to pass me by...

spring has finally sprung

flower petals are better for bare feet than snowflakes

monkies!

It's seventy outside. The sky was blue, and it's only just now starting to get a little cloudier...and the crabapples have finally blossomed! WOO! There's no turning back now, spring is HERE!

camping again

Why is it that when we are afraid, we huddle with whoever is around? It seems instinctive, but does it make any sense? Maybe there's strength in numbers, but how much good will one other person do if that noise in the bushes really is an angry raccoon? And if you think about it, don't we really just want somebody else to be experiencing what we are? So maybe the only thing any of us are really afraid of is loneliness. We automatically reach for the friend next to us, because we're absolutely terrified of being alone.

Sorry, I'm on cold medicine.

united 93

I learned disc golf yesterday. FUN, except I stink pretty bad at it so far! Apparently I'm a quick learner at least.

Then last night, I saw United 93. I don't care what opinions you have about whether or not it's too soon, or if it's disrespectful, or a bad idea, or whatever. There is no better way, no better timeframe, no better anything they could have done with that film. It is...well, it's hard to find the right word to use to describe it. It's not really good, because it's just so...terrible. It's suspensful, but you know from the very beginning what's going to happen at the end. It is...intense. Very raw, very emotional. Yet not too saccharine. It doesn't develop or glorify any of the characters, just shows them at the very basic level of their reality. That was one of my favorite parts, actually. They used very subtle details that were obviously gathered from the passengers' families. Like the guys planning their camping trip. And the telephone conversations others had with their loved ones. Even the hijackers were not personified as evil, were not justified or glorified. They were just there, presented plainly, honestly, and yet complicated. Real humans. We don't remember anyone's first name, there are no character-developing storylines. It happens in real time.

I went in very skeptical, very prepared to be disappointed and disgusted. But I left that theater very impressed. It is its own category. Not because I think millions of people will rave about it, or because it will make a billion dollars. I don't care if it does, and quite frankly, I honestly believe that the people who made it didn't care either.

It would have been too soon to make a movie like Pearl Harbor. It would have been too soon to make a movie like Titanic. But it was not too soon for United 93.

betcha dint know

Every second, lightning strikes the surface of the earth 100 times.

100 TIMES.

EVERY SECOND.

So imagine that 500 lightning bolts have hit the earth since you've been reading this. Just like that.

Maybe I should be a meteorologist. I love physics but I'm not so sure how all that math would go...

weekend (suspended)

Had an excellent weekend. But I just found this on the BBC and it's more important. First dress rehearsal for Pirates tonight. More later...

BBC Monday, 24 April 2006

ten twelve

Out of nowhere, I am so thankful. It isn't anything that anyone has said, or anything that has happened, I am just so thankful. Sometimes you hear about people who have near-death experiences, or hear a sermon or something-- and it makes them realize how good they have it. But today I just got overwhelmed for some random reason. I have absolutely no idea why, and it might sound strange, but I'm so thankful that I'm thankful. So keenly aware of how blessed I am that it doesn't take an accident for me to realize how lucky I am. Just glad to be alive. Here. With family and friends who are healthy and who love me for me.

I am entirely broke. In every sense of the word. Wallet, heart, brain. I have no money, no major, no idea what's coming next year (or the year after that, or the year after that...). I don't know what my faith is anymore, and it scares the shit out of me. (No, I do not need to be witnessed to, thank you very much.)

And yet, I'm ok. No, I am fantastic. I love this place, I love my friends, I love this mess. Because what is the alternative? People who say that they have everything together are sad, sad individuals. I don't want everything together. This is an adventure, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole world. There are people who didn't wake up this morning who would do anything to be back in this mess. There are people who did wake up this morning who would do anything to trade their mess for mine.

Cripes, what a rant. I guess this is what I get from trying to read my whole Emerson assignment in one night...

on break but still here...

WE know where we are!


great good friday


grant and pk wrastlin


lake vermillion on good friday


after swimming at adam's on thursday

HAPPY EASTER! Eric and Dad were here yesterday afternoon and today, that was fun. We (me, the guys, and Eric) went and saw Firewall. It was OK. We have a sweet tribal cave/fort. Slept in it last night, renovated it today. Life is so good!

don't read my blog

This is why I think blogging is ridiculous: because there are other people out there who are actually saying things that need to be heard. What do I blog about? The weather. My friends. What happened in class. The same bourgeois crap that everybody else blogs about. Read something worthwhile. Not that my life isn't, but it certainly isn't very consequential!

for starters: Iraqi Blogs tell of Violence, Hope-- Al Jazeera

sunshine on my shoulders

the spring is bringing all kinds of new mischief:


a sweet new game


yet another beautiful day at Falls Park

seventy-six

Yes, it is seventy-six and sunny in Sioux Falls, South Dakota right now. YES, Kelli and I are going to Falls Park to study. YES, I am staying here for Easter. YES, I think I've decided to take the PA position, because I know it will be a blast, and an exceptional learning experience, and I will still see a ton of the friends whom I really care about. YES, I'm nervous about going to the banquet tonight... even though I know I shouldn't be...

germany dos

Some of the pictures that Christian took are on his website...
http://local-nights.de/augie

germany one

Germany was absolutely AMAZING! And I have no idea whatsoever where to start, but I think a few pictures might be in order...

das ist gut

this keyboard is a mess. its a trap because you pay by the minute, but it takes you half the time to figure out where the letters are. im in germany screw punctuation. eating kiwi ice cream. absolutely exhausted. ready to see the city, then get some good sleep! dinner with families tomorrow night. berlin early next week. flights were good, not much sleeping :) had awesome fettucini alfredo with salmon for dinner at a restaurant where they speak italian. lots of languages here, makes me feel dumb. love to all, more soon...

sensenbrenner shmensenbrenner

This is what I've been doing instead of starting my dagnabbed religion paper-- advocacy. Oh well, right? Maybe I'll change a few minds even if it mean that I'm up until four on Thursday. This is the version I sent to the Argus...

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: What would you say if the government were able to dictate to which charities you could donate? What would you say if the government began to mandate charitable acts? What would you say if the government outlawed charitable acts? It may—although it shouldn’t—surprise you to know that, in the lattermost case at least, some of our elected officials are trying to do exactly that.

The “Border Protection, Anti-Terrorism, and Illegal Immigration Protection Act of 2005” (HR 4437), would make acts of assistance and mercy towards undocumented immigrants a criminal offense—assistance to a felon, in fact. The security of our national borders is important, and should be maintained, but when security trumps the right of individuals, schools, churches, and other social organizations to engage in acts of charity—clearly, this is going too far.

Proposed by Wisconsin representative James Sensenbrenner, this bill has already cleared the US House of Representatives, and is currently under consideration in the Senate. If passed into law, it will pose serious challenges to humanitarian work in our country—undermining the ability of individuals to engage in charity towards their neighbors with the threat of criminal prosecution.

Advocates for this bill trumpet the role that it will play in keeping terrorists out of our country—and help find those already hiding. But it does not take into account the fact that terrorist organizations have the money and resources to enter our country legally. Undocumented immigrants are those seeking better lives for themselves and their families. Maintaining interior security is important—but it should not be attained at the expense of the marginalized, or by violating the rights of citizens to exercise their moral values. There is an alternative.

Senators McCain and Kennedy have proposed the “Secure America and Orderly Immigration Act” (S-1033). This bill requires undocumented aliens to pay a fine and to demonstrate English skills, before they are allowed to “earn” resident status by working and paying taxes for six years. Not only will this act be efficient and humane in keeping track of and accounting for undocumented aliens, but it does better justice to our “land of opportunities.”

Our policies towards immigration and naturalization must walk a very fine line between security and liberty. We must remember to honor our “land of opportunities” mantra for those who would seek better lives. But, most importantly, we must allow citizens to act freely on their consciences—helping your neighbor should never be criminalized.

So anyway, I've got a HECUA meeting tonight, my PA interview tomorrow night, and Tim Johnson is coming on Wednesday. Thursday is going to be packing day, and we're holding a screening of Invisible Children for Advocacy. I think we're going to try to organize a night commute on April 29th; we're so pumped since we've been back from Washington!

stupid descartes

So, I woke up too late to take a shower this morning, which was on purpose. I figure, it's only philosophy, so I'm kind of making some sort of existentialist statement by going to class in a more natural state. Plus it's too damned difficult to drag my butt out of bed. My noon class isn't meeting again until after spring break, so I was looking forward to the whole 10:00-2:00 lunch/nap/shower. Nope. I forgot I was doing sound for chapel. And having lunch with a prospective. Both of which I did in a much dirtier condition than I would've liked. Now it's noon-thirty, and I should be showering, but I've got to meet Bets for lunch at one, so I'm going to dump my brain.

We hit on an interesting puzzle in philosophy this morning. We're reading Descartes, and O'Hara posed the question: Is there any notion in your head that you can be absolutely certain wasn't placed there by something else? Do we have any purely original, foundational thoughts? We can't trust our senses, because they're subjective to our environments and conditions. How much of what we think, then, based on our senses, is unreliable? And Descartes would say that there is a devil, and that he is so powerful that he can overwhelm everything we think, to the point that he controls what we think, blinding us to the reality and the truth that belongs to God. So that when we think that we've finally got our faith figured out, it is really just the devil blinding us from the fact that we are not even close. We think we can control ourselves, but that's just what we've been tricked into thinking?

So that's my assignment for the weekend: think of a thought that I can prove I am thinking. I love this.

uno

Washington DC was FANTASTIC! I have got a nasty, nasty case of the Potomac Fever. That city reminded me of Rome, only better-organized, cleaner, and safer. Plus the people were friendlier. And everything was in English. It now rivals Chicago in my book, which-- for anyone who knows me-- is really saying something. It was so refreshing to be around people who are actually passionate about this silly democratic republic, and about making it function the way it should. It was hopeful to see that there are people who are not apathetic and who are not passive. People who participate. Plus I got to flick off the White House.

I mastered the Metro rail system. And I mean dominated. I even gave directions to a big group of confused people. Along with changing your travel plans mid-ride, and memorizing your home stop, lines, and surrounding stations, I think that giving directions is one of the biggers steps I took towards moving one level above "tourist." As Ange would put it, I am "map savvy." I kind of feel as if I deserve a certificate or something. But my self-satisfied smugness will suffice.

It sucks a little to be back at Augie. But just a little. It is absolutely unreal that we leave for Germany NEXT WEEK. I am so EXCITED!