memorial day

Tyler, Whing, Jo, Me, Bets, and Chris

How many days did it take me to get over my mopey withdrawl? The same number it took for my friends to realize that I was home. I still miss school a LOT LOT LOT, but my friends here make me thankful.

Sarah and Ashley promptly kidnapped me and took me out for pie. We had so much fun just eating pie and talking and laughing-- good memories and stories about our (very!) different college experiences.

Then! The TIM(e) group (and Chris!) got together at Perkins and my house. Some people had to leave early, and some couldn't come until later, but we DID get to have a girly sleepover FINALLY! (We missed Bekah though!!) And I guess it was kind of ok getting to see all the guys, too... I am SO VERY THANKFUL for ALL of them. Some things change...but some things don't ever change! We've already got a couple camping weekends picked out for the rest of the summer. Hopefully we'll be able to get out to Sibley to see Frankie at camp, too.

Whitney is in Sweden! And Jourdan is in Montana! I'm really happy that two of my best friends get to be off having adventures...but I sure will miss you girls!

Meanwhile, back in the real world, I am completely gutting out my room...and I got bunkbeds! It has been loads of not-so-fun work, but it feels really really good to get rid of things that just aren't important. I realized that I have way way too much stuff. And I'm making room for the things that are actually important! Needless to say, I'm not even CLOSE to being done...

I saw X3 with Matt Clay and Mike on Friday. I haven't seen the first two, but this one kind of made me want to watch all of them! It was pretty good, if you like action movies and special effects and stuff. Definitely not a tear-jerker, or terribly deep or anything, but very entertaining anyway!

I am lonely here! It has been so good to spend time with my family, and absolutely AWESOME to see my dear friends, but now it's kind of just like...meh. I miss being with people all the time! Ellie time is nice, but I always make Ellie time regardless. I want to play HALO all night, or eat lunch with people, or chill in the lobby for an hour and talk to everyone who walks by! I want Berg 1 and 4W back! I want my friends! Hmph.

I'm going up to Gull tomorrow, probably the last time I will be at the house. Ever. I know that I'm going to cry, so I'll come back to this later...

Oh, and it's Memorial day. I wish we did things that we do on Memorial day every day.

the twilight bark...

...i LOVE this movie!

there are no words

You can't explain some things to people who have never experienced them. No, it's not just like high school. No, it's not just like camp. No, it's not just like mission trips or Girls' State or theater or basketball.

I'm not sure what I'm going to say yet. I've been thinking. In a good way.

No worries.

please?

Can I just stay here all summer? Please? And everybody stay with me?

For months, I've been consciously enjoying the company that I keep, and the things we do. Every so often, reminding myself that before I knew it, summer would be here. And I've been having a blast. Absolutely one of the best times of my life. I have no regrets. No "I wish I would have slowed down," or "I wish I would have appreciated it more." I've soaked up every single second, every stupid joke, every random late-night occurence. Of that, at least, I am sure. I took not one second for granted.

But I am still going to bawl when it's time for us to leave.

recapitulation

my mixed-media self-portrait from art
(crayon, watercolors, and mirror)

I was randomly reminded of my New Year's Resolutions today.

1)write
2)swim
3)patience

How am I doing? WELL...

1) I haven't been writing, exactly, but I have been being quite creative anyway. I paint a lot now-- I've always loved watercolors, and art class has given me an excuse to do it as often as I want. And my guitar has been a great outlet too. I only know a handful of chords, but I've been writing music now and then. So hey! I have been writing, I guess! (I should really get on that, though...)

2) I did swim straight through J-term, and sporadically afterwards...I'm feeling great healthwise. I did a vegetarian stint during January, too-- and recently for about a month. Next year, I think I'm going to start going every day at the beginning of the year, and keep it up for as long as I can. Maybe every other day or something. I'm planning on teaching swimming lessons this summer. So hey! I'm doing ok with that, too!

3) The patience. I'm doing ok. There's a fine line that I think I've been toeing... being patient is different than being passive. I want to work on this one. I don't want to be chasing things, but I certainly don't want anything worth pursuing to pass me by...

spring has finally sprung

flower petals are better for bare feet than snowflakes

monkies!

It's seventy outside. The sky was blue, and it's only just now starting to get a little cloudier...and the crabapples have finally blossomed! WOO! There's no turning back now, spring is HERE!

camping again

Why is it that when we are afraid, we huddle with whoever is around? It seems instinctive, but does it make any sense? Maybe there's strength in numbers, but how much good will one other person do if that noise in the bushes really is an angry raccoon? And if you think about it, don't we really just want somebody else to be experiencing what we are? So maybe the only thing any of us are really afraid of is loneliness. We automatically reach for the friend next to us, because we're absolutely terrified of being alone.

Sorry, I'm on cold medicine.

united 93

I learned disc golf yesterday. FUN, except I stink pretty bad at it so far! Apparently I'm a quick learner at least.

Then last night, I saw United 93. I don't care what opinions you have about whether or not it's too soon, or if it's disrespectful, or a bad idea, or whatever. There is no better way, no better timeframe, no better anything they could have done with that film. It is...well, it's hard to find the right word to use to describe it. It's not really good, because it's just so...terrible. It's suspensful, but you know from the very beginning what's going to happen at the end. It is...intense. Very raw, very emotional. Yet not too saccharine. It doesn't develop or glorify any of the characters, just shows them at the very basic level of their reality. That was one of my favorite parts, actually. They used very subtle details that were obviously gathered from the passengers' families. Like the guys planning their camping trip. And the telephone conversations others had with their loved ones. Even the hijackers were not personified as evil, were not justified or glorified. They were just there, presented plainly, honestly, and yet complicated. Real humans. We don't remember anyone's first name, there are no character-developing storylines. It happens in real time.

I went in very skeptical, very prepared to be disappointed and disgusted. But I left that theater very impressed. It is its own category. Not because I think millions of people will rave about it, or because it will make a billion dollars. I don't care if it does, and quite frankly, I honestly believe that the people who made it didn't care either.

It would have been too soon to make a movie like Pearl Harbor. It would have been too soon to make a movie like Titanic. But it was not too soon for United 93.